Monday, 9 May 2016

Broken bickies

It’s a universally accepted fact that should circumstance necessitate a hasty and preferably unseen raid on the biscuit barrel, you should always pick the broken one … or ones… 
Calorie leakage.
That’s a thing, right?
Like the way the debris at the bottom of a bag of chips doesn’t count as food. And the obvious truism that any of the edible matter you absentmindedly pop into your mouth while making school lunches or preparing dinner, or indeed, when preparing any sort of foodstuff to be consumed by anyone other than yourself, doesn’t count as something worthy of recording in a daily food diary. 
Of course not.
Surely even those food-tasters for Hitler and the ones allegedly employed by various alleged American presidents still ate proper meals. Gosh darn it, as far as I’m concerned, nobody deserves better quality poison-free meals than MY family and friends.
Anyway, over the years I’ve garnered a few other interesting diet-related verities:
  • if it’s green, it counts as vegetable
  • if it’s a vegetable it doesn’t count as carb
  • if it’s liquid and doesn’t contain Coke or milk, it counts as water.

And just this past weekend, my significant other introduced me to another such food fact. 
He was, as he so frequently does, consuming his brunch – which in this case was a hearty chunk of sourdough toast lavishly heaped with avocado, tomato and fresh basil – while standing looking out the kitchen window.

I have always, foolishly I now discover, assumed that the motivation for this manner of eating was his deep-seated desire to conserve energy. Eliminate the need to fetch and then wash a plate by allowing the crumbs and debris to fall directly into the sink.
But no.
Apparently, the calories go right down the sink with the fall-out.
Who knew?

Oh, plus apparently if you don’t put salt on the tomato, it increases the nutritional value.

So help me out.
What amazing diet-related facts have you discovered?


  1. 1. If you wash your food down with a diet beverage the entire food/drink combo is rendered void of calories.
    2. Whilst it is true that food consumed in the process of preparing meals does not contain calories, few people know the reason for this. The calories are actually delivered to the hapless soul who hovers over your meal-prep bench picking at the food you are preparing without contributing to the meal prep themselves.

    1. I knew I could count on you to have a deeper understanding of some of these kitchen-related complexities.

  2. I must have missed those memos - I never go for the broken biscuits first! lol

    1. oh dear... well now you can begin this calorie-lessening habit.

  3. I think I missed that memo many wasted years and zero calorie possibilities.

    1. Really? Well maybe it only works with Australian bickies???

  4. HAHA! I love these Wendy. Mopping up anything with bread does not count as calories either in my opinion!

    1. Very sensible suggestion... what about those bits of the bickie that fall in the mug when you're dunking? I wonder if they count...